i never

i never speak of darkness
but it always seems to find me
i guess i've never felt that worthy of the sun

i swore i was leaving, but
i never seem to make it to the door
too caught by the fear of what i may never find

i know you'll never see me
as more than another pale pawn
to abuse and cast away (aching from the sound!)

i never wanted this pain
but i'm a thousand times the fool
and never learn the only lesson that you teach

you ran me over and ran me down
as if this life weren't something of value
my words just came spinning back
as if your voice were only my echo
i gave you faith; again and again it crumbled
as if it didn't take my heart with it
so much burnt away . . .

a thousand times the fool and still,
i never say goodbye and mean it
a thousand days counting the clock's whispers
between the times your voice rings out
a thousand nights shouting down the broken stars
asking them where the dawn has fled
so much wasted . . .

and still, i let you hold me here
never speaking of the darkness
never worthy of the daybreak
never making it to the door

but now.
Now I break the circle.
Now the bonds are broken.
Now this voice will be an echo.
Now the nevers grind to stopping.
Now your words will whirl upon you;
Now your world is cast in silence;
Now you will shout down the empty sky,
And ask it why you count time forward from never . . .
Because never is the only word we ever owned together.

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