weird things people have said in my presence

Comment - This is probably my weirdest undertaking. It's kind of like that site "In Passing", except I didn't really hear these things in passing . . . err . . . never mind. Well, if you say something I find highly amusing, I'll put you on here. Some of these COULD go on the random wisdom page or the translation blooper page, but I'd rather put them here. Note to self : write things down so you don't forget half the funny things you hear. I'm hoping that I'm not quoting anyone a) who visits my page and/or b) has the financial resources to somehow sue me for quoting them.

> "Yoda, lol. Kick your ass I will. Make you my ho I shall." - Lunar, on Star Wars: Episode 2.

> "Never make bets with people named Toto." - Wabishtar, after I caused him to lose a $10 bet regarding the meaning of "Lucifer" by telling him he was wrong.

> "Yeah, I know. I'm going to hell =D but at least the handbasket is comfy!" - MyuMyu, on, well, being a heretic, I suppose. This really ought to be on a t-shirt. (Maybe it is.)

> "Yesterday I bought (I hate the irregular verbs) a rei's cosplay^_^ When it arrive...I sell you many photos" - Videl (from Brazil), who was having a bad English day. It would be wrong to laugh if it wasn't so funny. If you have a dirty mind, anyway. I wonder when/where I got that, anyway . . . must have been the anime.

> "However many topless women it's got, it's NOT PORN until someone gets LAID, dammit!" - Ali, on anime and pr0n (anime pr0n, specifically). Maybe I shall call it "Ali's First Law of Pr0n" or something.

> ". . . plush . . . still in his plastic bag and very minty." - eBay seller, on the plush toy they were auctioning. I find this hilarious beyond reason. It must be the air freshener fumes.

> "This is your girlfriend . . . and this is your girlfriend's ass." - Tim, explaining the finer points of Kingdom Hearts. (But where's my girlfriend's ass on drugs?)

> "I like Goofy's battle axe." - David, saying words I never thought I'd hear. But it sums up the KH experience quite well. A horrifying set of juxtapositions sure to be brain-damaging, but in the end too cool to resist. Mm. Brain damage.

> "And then he goes away . . . I'm sorry, he goes AHEAD . . . he goes away also." - my "Quantum Physics for Artists" teacher, having a bad English day. (He's made a number of mistakes or weird phrases, but this is my fave so far. XD )

> "I didn't know mammary glands had the ability of speech." - Mei Lan. I don't remember what we were talking about, lol.

> "Cosplay is another thing I have to look forward to instead of jumping into open traffic @_@;;;;" - Babbit-chan, probably in a thread about why we cosplay. Amen, Babbit!

> "I'm the real life Ollie the magic bum ^^" - Spooky Brew. It has something to do with a game. But I'd rather not know, it'd ruin the mystique of the comment.

> "So what have we learned? . . . I'm kidding." - my history of cinema teacher, on Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Or so she thought. The students got the irony. We also discovered that night that you can hear people talking inside the room quite well from in the AV booth. Whoops.

> "So I'd be a 110-lb guy with a 36" penis and DD breasts with $10, 000 000 and the ability to hypnotize women into bed. I would be God." - Hungry Jack, on the super-human being that could be created if the stuff they're selling in spam was real.

> "Alcohol is my anti-drug" - Hungry Jack (two in one night! He was on a roll!)

> "IRC is like Alzheimer's . . . meeting new people . . . again and again . . ." - Three-D (I think). lol this was a very memorable night in the chat, what can I say. I have, however, spared you any quotes about broomsticks. >_<

> "Help me think of a hentai abstract noun" - bishiraver/pookie on hentai mad libs (lord help me for thinking of the idea)

>"Kaje: I knew someone had boobs" - Ziggy; hah, this doesn't really need commentary. ^^ Sorry Ziggy, you knew I was gonna post them.

>"Ayaka: can't you use /me? :)" - Ziggy; so innocently intended (I didn't know how to do actions in IRC), but such a double entendre. :D

> "Behold, the insanity of the dutch." - Wasabi (I don't remember what insanity he was referring to.)

>"You had music, you had rhythm . . ."
"You had ninjas."
- a teacher and my classmate; whilst we were complaining about the lack of musical-ness in said Indian "musical". (*sings* "I've got rhythm, I've got ninjas . . .!")

> "Once you've got somebody trying to kill something, it's always kinda cool." - One of my Development and Pre-Production classmates, giving his opinions on the short film we'd just watched.

> "They party all time long." - My quantum physics teacher again. I forget, we were talking about particles . . .

> "I am now scared of anti-particle bombs . . ." - one of my quantum physics classmates. I am too. oO

> "What about Sweden?" - quantum physics classmate again; Sweden. lol. This was totally out of the blue, the teacher asks for questions, and he says this.

> "It's LEG HUMPING night at the cosplay-o-rama!" - Doc Stampede; yeah, that's pretty much every night.

> "I don't come for the sex . . . I come for the nachos!" - Ranma; this really doesn't need a comment. ^^

> "Fiiiiine. Leave. But I'll blow your planet up while you sleep." - Mei Lan; I dunno; I just really like this as a threat XD

> "Why am I not covered in dead skin? No, I mean, other people's dead skin." - Talk about taking a silly comment and making it worse. XD Quantum physics again. Are you worried about this class now? (This is actually the SAME GUY as "Sweden" and the anti-particle bombs, lol.)

> "What's a kendo?" "It's a stick." - The two guys in front of me at the Katsucon masquerade, who were obviously not listening to the guy from Utena onstage, who had just finished telling them what kendo was (and was not), and that it was not "a kendo stick", it was a "shinai". Indeed. Times when you wish you actually did have access to Hammerspace. Or Shinaispace, anyway.

> "We want to make a movie that even though you're not really that interested, you would still go watch it." - Hyde, on his movie "Moon Child". It wasn't said in my presence, but it's still damn funny. One day I shall have this hanging on the wall of my office.

> "That means if it were possible to see into infinity, you could." - My production 1 teacher, stating the obvious yet obscure (about hyperfocal distance). Don't even get me started on how amused I am by the fact that "circles of confusion" is a technical term

> "Times like these call for the muppets" - Three. This lead me to a mental image of a muppet George Bush flying through the air like the penguins on the Muppet Show, and the suggestion of a celebrity deathmatch between Bush and the Swedish Chef. (I'd pay to see it.)

> "Arizona is hard to find in Canada" - Tranceomni, who was, in fact, talking about the drink. Nevertheless, I thought this was a most excellent non-sequitur.

> "You're only as old as you feel and at night we all feel like lazy HS seniors" - Irvy. I think it's quite true.

> "I got bored and killed myself" - Naruto, who won my "best comment when taken out of context" award for the night while talking about some game.

> "I'll do whatever with whoever" - Me . . . >_< I was told that I had to post this. I'm a honest person. So there you have it. And it should have been "whomever" . . .

> "Plus he is one smooth continuum of lycra" - Moo, regarding mutual friend Ziggy, and his infamous Zack (Dead or Alive 2) costume. He is, in fact, one smooth continuum of lycra. Sounds like physics, the lycra continuum . . .

> "Don't talk to me about lemurs." - Chris, who's apparently had emotionally scarring experiences related to lemurs (well related to Tim, but that's beside the point). Don't ask how lemurs came up in casual conversation, it will give you a headache. (It was my fault, as usual, just to add to my reputation of being obsessed with wombats. Yeah, baby, it's all about obscure mammals!)

> "It could be worse; she could have been an ethereal, lesbian panther." - Me. I don't usually quote myself cause it's really frickin tacky, but I felt I needed to share. Ah, RPGs. Just doing my part to make this page infinitely more random than "In Passing".

> "I know the logical thing to do, I just completely disregard it" - Recca

> "Did he just say 'lobsters always diet'?" - my mother. She's not allowed to watch subtitled anime with me any more (the line was "losers always die".)

> "I can't compete with 23 inches of pure digital love!" - John Booty, who was really talking about Apple Cinema Displays. Really.

> "Don't make my warrior show up in his underwear and conquer your dungeon. Your zombie lord will regret it." - John Booty. Uh . . . no comment. lol.

> "my living room doesn't have MELT BANANA in it! . . . or jesus" - John Booty. This isn't nearly as much of a non-sequitur as it sounds . . . .

> "How can the letter "O" be badly translated?" - Troppy, whilst we were discussing the pornographic undertones of the name of the anime "Big O".

> "Just remember: Gaara will kill us all with sand" - Rikku. I'll remember that . . . o_O;

> "He's been riding the strange elevator." - Saeru - this isn't really something I can explain . . . he clearly had, though.

"<-- goes and cleans out the dungeon / err... happy place" - Ziggy - worst attempt to cover ever. XD

> "the end is coming to an end ..." - Ziggy; well, he was distracted by a small army of Chiis at the time. Someday, if I ever have a band, I shall name an album that. (The End is Coming to an End, not Small Army of Chiis.)

> "i'm like dress of lycra and spandex" - some guy - apparently in Romania - who messaged Ziggy

> "But no, there's no way you can beat me, I'm the KING of no-pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - LoneWolf, typing in the wrong window. His only explanation was "long story". I'm sure it was.

> "i can't wait until i hit puberty" - John Booty

>"hey I've been staring at half naked CG men for the past 30 min. there's something *really* wrong with me" - Ziggy; he'll never forgive me for posting this, but no one reads it anyway. He was just talking about looking at references for a costume.

> "Exactly! Which is why God made platforms. Because they can't make your feet bigger, but they can help you stomp on other people's feet." - Okay . . . I admit this was me . . .

>" just come over and set my anime on fire" - Booty-sama. *grabs kerosene* :3

> "*sings* / bondage man.../ ...bondage man / does whatever a......bondage can? ^^::" - Lone Wolf

> "It was hard to drink while dressed as an Item Box" - Booty-sama

> "But, slap on some pleather and hey, I guess anything's possible. LOL" - PositiveSpace

> "As long are you're shiny I think it'll be good." - AJ; if I told you what we were talking about, I'd have to kill you.

> "hungry, itchy sleeply, mmmm doggy. night" - the only words of explanation I got from a friend before they logged off AIM. This is an old one I found, so I'm not sure who it was; I believe it was Lunar.

> "I'm an equal opportunity hotness relayer!" - PositiveSpace

> "No piano banging while the violin is still in the room! unless the violin is the type that likes to watch" - Moo; seriously, we were talking about Gackt . . . XD

> "Anything that doesn't kill you can make you angsty and dramatic!" - Yui

> "Pancake lingerie . . . the possibilites are endless" - HowlinMadMurphy, related to me by Booty-sama.

> "If I could have a love affair with a chemical . . . I'd choose that one." - unknown but we think it was PositiveSpace. Sorry, don't know what we were talking about! (This seems like good online quiz material.)

> "Due to a freak stirring incident, they had their own little insulated noodle grotto." - Booty-sama (sorry I just like calling him "Lord Booty".)

> "Please try and picture my butt. It will make the rest of life's suffering seem totally bearable by comparison." - Booty

> "Errant granola bars. It's what's for dinner." - Urd

> "You are becoming a pimple on the Bump that is Chicken." - Urd

> "The sweatsocks of unanswered prayers leave me yearning for baked beans"

> "Now we know that the spinning beachball of doom is actually the spinning pizza wheel of death." - my mother

> "Let's build God and have it light up like a Christmas tree" - Die

end until someone says something else weird

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